Archive for September, 2013


MP_cancer death

Yesterday I went to the gym to row 15 minutes and got to Olympic weightlifting skills class. I was stronger than last week so that was a positive.
I feel so alone. I have posted the picture “no one fights alone” but I feel like I am fighting alone. Everyone asks how they can help but the most I need is someone to understand what I am going through. I can not find someone who understands that I feel to whom I can share my fears and needs. I feel guilty asking people for help with chores. I felt guilty and took a hit from my employer when I asked for a 40 hour work week and no 16 hour shifts. I am hired for 32 hours/week. It took several notes from my doctor to get this restriction. Is alopecia from radiation and surgical scar not enough evidence. Do I really need to go on disability? People have offered to help but then when I ask for it I get turned down. Other people I met with this disease have caregivers to help but feel like I am all alone. No one to listen about my fears of uncertainty. Yes, I can workout, complete a scaled WOD but in the big scheme of things I feel alone, scared, weak, and frustrated. I am stuck in a moment that I can not get out of.


PS. If you have an answer on why I can’t upload new images from my desktop to Facebook and WordPress gallery please let me know. What is a blog with the same images?



I  have not written an entry for a while. I have not had a significant workout since my last entry. That is if you do not count my four hour of referring soccer last Saturday or several games in the past two weeks, 10 minute rides to satisfy my Whole Life Challenge (WLC) requirement, tennis lessons, or running around at work . Yesterday September 19 was my first time at CrossFit in a few weeks. No I did not do the WOD, but went to weightlifting skills class to prepare for my weightlifting meet the Minnesota Open on October 12, 2013. The meet is being held at my home gym CrossFit Progression. Prior to lifting, I rowed for 15 minutes. In addition, I had a 30 minute tennis lesson at 1 PM where I did pretty poor, maybe OK for my 3rd day of tennis.
The WLC challenge has been difficult. I have little energy or motivation to prepare meals. So I have eaten little. Not to mention my craving for Dr. Pepper to settle my stomach. Last week’s chemo cycle was challenging. I went to work several days with nausea. Zofran only took the edge off. Since I work night shift as a nurse I would take my chemo in the morning. Fatigue was also present and I literally could not go for more than 10 minutes without yawning. Still cannot take my Spark energy drink, which is much needed due to little antioxidants on chemo. Unable to work out at the gym, I have been using my stationary bike at home to get a 10 minute workout in then followed by stretching and foam roller. The only thing I have had the energy to do is come home, sit in front of my computer and go on FB or check emails. I notice the effects from the Decadron steroid have worn off, in that I have less energy.


 I also wanted to include in this post that there is a very special event happening in Rochester on Saturday October 5, 2013 at RCTC. It is the Brains Together for a Cure walk to raise awareness and funds for brain tumor research at Mayo Clinic. If you would like to walk, donate money or goods for the silent auction please go to Also, if you own a business or know of a business who would like to donate goods for a silent auction let me know or go to the above website. I am hoping the coming week is better and my blood counts from today’s test remain normal.

My motto for the next 8 weeks

My motto for the next 8 weeks

Today I did the WOD for the next Whole Life Challenge. Tired after a night shift,  I went to CrossFit Progression at 10 AM to complete the WLC WOD. The WLC is a lifestyle game that requires one to eat clean, my healthy lifestyle choices including exercise. One records their score for the day on a point system. One loses points for eating unhealthy items not on the accepted list. One gets a point for exercise, mobility, supplement, and completing each healthy lifestyle activity. The final score is based on points, improvement in body measurements, and WOD score improvement. One competes against others in their box (gym) and ultimately against oneself.   For more info on the Whole Life Challenge go to



CrossFit Progression and Whole Life Challenge

CrossFit Progression and Whole Life Challenge

10 minutes of
500 meter row
50 air squats (butt must touch med ball)
40 sit-ups (hands must touch heels)
30 walking lunges (knee must touch ground)
20 hand release push-ups (knee push-ups OK)
Row for calories to finish out 10 minutes (each calorie=1 rep)
My result=150

Next I went to the Rochester Athletic Club (RAC) and went 1x through my upper body strength circuit. Next I went to my first day of tennis lessons. I went with my $15 dollar racquet I got a few years ago at Wal-Mart. I found out that I was the only person in the class. Individual lessons-cool! The last time I played tennis was in one of my phy ed skills classes in college-a while ago. Learned forehand and backhand and how to put spin on the ball. The RAC is known for its tennis programs so I feel good about my choice. It was fun, but I still need a lot of work before I can play in a league.

My day ended as a soccer official (AR) for a girls varsity game. It was a good game to practice and improve my skills. Got a workout running up and down the sidelines. The hardest part of the game was driving the 20 miles back home in the dark, on a one lane highway, and with little sleep. It was, the longest I had driven since last December. Made it home safe. Do you think I slept well that night?



I have not posted much for last week because I was working mandatory overtime at my nursing job. If I worked out any, it was 1 mile walks  to Mayo Clinic for my MRI and neuro-oncology appointments. I start chemo again with Temodar 5 days on 23 days off for 6 months once it comes via UPS from the pharmacy. I did also officiate two high school soccer games on Thursday. I did one as a two man referee and one as an assistant referee. It was one of the hottest days of the year. I an burnt out and tired. My legs are sore and I can barely walk. I did get my physician to write a letter stating no overtime and no double shifts. It will be interesting to see if my employer  abides by it. 64 hours in one week is too much for anyone especially if one has brain cancer. It is not safe, I was lucky I did not make an error or at least one that was noticeable.